October Reflection

It’s been a pretty cool month overall I would say. I started the month thinking about how powerful sounds are. And I still believe in that premise, but I’ve also come to accept in the premise that perfection actually exists, to the un-investigated eyes. I remember a time when I debated with a friend that in reality nothing is perfect. And I finally concede defeat. Maybe it’s because I’ve never truly learned how to love another person completely with all our flaws, but I was constantly in the mindset that everything can be improved. 

Although I believe everything can be improved through practice, with skills, by means of human conscious effort, but life itself is a miracle that I can never truly describe. What I can’t describe is perfection in my perfect little intricate brain that can rationalize knowledge. And I’ve come to realize I really am just a person trying to find meaning with all this abundant knowledge that is flowing in infinite directions. Information flowing to allow for mythologies to exist is something that has captivated my mind for a long time.

I had a grandfather who truly awakened my exploring self when I was a teeny kid. I used to be captivated by his ability to tell stories. This was before tv got in my head. As I was born in Bangladesh, TV wasn’t a huge influence till later in my life. During my early childhood years, I was most captivated by the stories my grandfather told me. I just remember all these vivid pictures popping in my head whenever he told any stories. I probably can’t tell you what those stories are, since it was such a long time ago for me, but those stories set me out to explore.

Sometimes I wonder how the human hippocampus evolved at such a rate. Our prefrontal cortex obviously interacts with the hippocampus in a very perfect fluid manner. And the notion that the more you use your brain, the better it becomes, has been stuck with me since I stumbled into the study of human behavior, or psychology. But I’m starting to become skeptical of psychology, but obviously I’m not a scientist, so I’m probably very biased. But overall I do appreciate the approach that modern behavioristic/neuro-cognitive psychology brings.

Ultimately, I wish I actually wrote more often. This month has been pretty bad writing-wise. But it’s taught me how easy it is to get stuck with routines. Once any routine is rationalized as worthy in the brain, it’s hard to let the flow of words come out when the mind becomes rigid. And not to say, I wasn’t writing personal thoughts, but my inner critique got the best of me and my writing seemed more jumbled up than usual. But alas, I’m probably the only one who vaquely understands what I’m writing, as of right now. 

But to anybody who does read this, I appreciate your time. I have great respect for writers and storytellers. By any chance, if anyone does ever read this, please tell me the name of some books that have opened up your imagination. It can be either English, Japanese, or Bangla.