Breathing and Dreams

Breathing and Dreams

Today I want to talk about our breathing and eventually I’m going to talk about our dreams. Being able to read how you breathe is an essential skill that I think one should develop. I don’t have the best breathing but I have been focusing on it recently. One could also call this meditation. Moving from Bangladesh back to America is making me more introspective. And breathing is one of those skills that I don’t always think about but if you breathe correctly you’ll have a higher level of awareness. This is my conclusion, though it is quite a mundane conclusion, since I’ve known it for awhile but I’ve never been able to properly apply it.

I’ve been reading some books recently about the proper way to breathe. And it really is a skill. Some people naturally breathe with their diaphragm. And some people breathe with their chest. Though I won’t retain everything I read, I did retain the fact that breathing with your mouth closed is a good skill to have. I’ve skimmed through both 'The Breathing Book’ by Donna Farhi and 'Conscious Breathing' by Anders Olsson. 

I’ve been recently practicing inhaling and exhaling for 3 seconds. And it really does calm me down. What I’ve also noticed is that I can really write well after I’ve had a vivid dream. My breathing after a vivid dream is actually pretty deep. I’ve been breathing through my nose with my mouth closed. I don’t always notice my breathing, but when I do think about it, I try to slow it down and inhale and exhale for 3 seconds. This is one of the reasons I’ve been able to write consistently for the last month. I’m not posting as often as I would like to on this website, as I’m somewhat of a perfectionist. But I’ve decided to accept mediocrity, something I’ve learned from Ali Abdaal, a well known youtuber. 

And finally, I want to expand on my discussion about dreams and then give a Bangla example. I recently have been thinking about dreams again because of Zach Highley, another well known youtuber. His youtube video about dreams made me want to remember my dreams as well. I can’t always remember my dreams, but when I have a vivid dream, it seems so important at the moment. I treasure those feelings. That’s why when I wrote the dream down in Bangla today, it gave me a sense of control in Bangla. And that’s something totally new for me, since I don’t usually automatically think in Bangla. But writing down an English memory in Bangla changes the perspective a little bit.

হবে স্বপ্ন দেখছিলাম। আমার স্বপ্নের ভিতরে আমি আর্কিটেকচার শিখতেছি। আমি এখন কিইথের সঙ্গে কথা বলতেছে। সে অনেক ভাল একটা দ্রইং বানাচ্ছে। আমি বিস্মিত হয়ে গেছে। দ্রইংটা এতো সুন্দর। আমার অতীতের কথা মনে পড়ে গেছিল। আমি মনে করতেছিলাম, যখন আমি ১৪ তম গ্রেড এ ছিলাম, আমি তখন কিইথের দ্রইং দেখছিলাম। দ্রইংটা অনেক সন্দর। সে অনেক আন্তরিকতা দেখাচ্ছে। আমি দেখে অবাগ। আমি তারপর কিইথের পোলোয়ার হয়ে গেছি। কিইথ হচ্ছে একটা ক্লাসমেট। আমি জিবনে খিইথের কথা বাংলাতে চিন্তা কিরিনয়। আমি অসলে খিইথের দ্রইং অনেক পছন্দ করি। আমি অর্কিটেকচার ও অনেক পছন্দ করি। কিন্তু অর্কিটেকচার অনেক মুসকিল। আমি অর্কিটেকচার পারিনা। আমি প্রাকটিস করিনা। আমার ধারনা ভুল নয়। কিন্তু আমি এত বেশি আঁকতে পারিনা। মানি আমিএতো ভাল করে খইথর মত আঁকতে পারিনা। এটা হচ্ছে আমার অর্কিটেকচারের সমস্যা। আমি জানিনা কনদিন এই সমস্যা যাবে। কিন্তু সে দিনের অপেক্ষা করতে পারব না। যদি আমি অসলে শিখতে চাই, তাহলে আমার দ্রইং প্রাকটিস অনেক দর্কার।

New Beginnings; Bangla and English (বাংলা অনুশীলন করতেছি)

A Short History

It’s been around 5 months since coming to Bangladesh. I’ve been exposed to a lot of different environments. From this I’m learned some great lessons about life. This is my first blog in five years. I know that’s a long break but I’ve decided to write again to showcase my work. It’s a lesson I’ve learned from reading the book ‘Show Your Work’ by Austin Kleon. I came to Bangladesh 3 years ago as well. But during that time I didn’t write any blogs, I was an observer. I've been an observer my whole life. I was born in Bangladesh. Moved to the United States when I was 8 years old. At that time I didn’t know how to read Bangla properly. During this trip I’ve taught myself how to read Bangla at a very fast pace, still not as fast as English but it's getting there. That for me is a huge accomplishment. But writing is another matter.

Writing Bangla from memory is still a difficult task. Writing English with proper spelling has never been a problem for me in my adult life. But because I've never had any professional teachers teaching me Bangla, I never got to properly convey my feelings in Bangla.

 

I'm a bilingual person. I learned Bangla as my first language but it slowly became my second language because English took over when I went to the United States. I want to restart this blog to share my experiences as I transition into a fully bilingual person. I'm going to be also writing in Bangla. But that's going to be in a shorter form. It's mostly so that I can get a better grasp of Bangla. I'm going to be including my Bangla as well in this blog for whomever in the future might find it useful.

 

একটি সংক্ষিপ্ত ইতিহাস 

 

বাংলাদেশে আসছিযে হবে পাঁচ মাস হলো।

আমি অনেক কিছু দেকলাম।

কিন্তু আমি আরো অনেক কিছু শিখলাম।

আমি পাচ বছর পরে আবার ব্লগিং শুরু করছি।

আমি ৩ বর্ষর আগে বাংলাদেশে আসছলাম।

সে সময় আমি বেশি বাংলা জানতাম না।

এখন আমি মোটামুটি দ্রুত বাংলা পড়তে পারি।

কিন্তু লেখাটা হচ্ছে আর একটা বেপার।  

আমার মুখস্ত বাংলা লিখতে একটু কষ্ট হয়।

তাই আমি বাংলা লেখাটা অনুশীলন করতেছি।

আমি ভাবতেছি আমি যদি বাংলা লেখি তাহলে আমার বাংলা আরো ফ্লুয়েন্ট হয়ে যাবে।

আমি ৫০০টা বাংলা শব্দ মুখস্থ করতেছি।

কিন্তু বাংলা বাক্য লেখি না, সুধু মুখস্ত করি।

তাই সহজ বাংলা হলেও, আমি আস্তে আস্তে বাংলা লেখা শুরু করতেছি।

স্বপ্ন আছে, স্বপ্ন হচ্ছে পুরোপুরি বাইলিংগুএল হবো।    

 

October Reflection

It’s been a pretty cool month overall I would say. I started the month thinking about how powerful sounds are. And I still believe in that premise, but I’ve also come to accept in the premise that perfection actually exists, to the un-investigated eyes. I remember a time when I debated with a friend that in reality nothing is perfect. And I finally concede defeat. Maybe it’s because I’ve never truly learned how to love another person completely with all our flaws, but I was constantly in the mindset that everything can be improved. 

Although I believe everything can be improved through practice, with skills, by means of human conscious effort, but life itself is a miracle that I can never truly describe. What I can’t describe is perfection in my perfect little intricate brain that can rationalize knowledge. And I’ve come to realize I really am just a person trying to find meaning with all this abundant knowledge that is flowing in infinite directions. Information flowing to allow for mythologies to exist is something that has captivated my mind for a long time.

I had a grandfather who truly awakened my exploring self when I was a teeny kid. I used to be captivated by his ability to tell stories. This was before tv got in my head. As I was born in Bangladesh, TV wasn’t a huge influence till later in my life. During my early childhood years, I was most captivated by the stories my grandfather told me. I just remember all these vivid pictures popping in my head whenever he told any stories. I probably can’t tell you what those stories are, since it was such a long time ago for me, but those stories set me out to explore.

Sometimes I wonder how the human hippocampus evolved at such a rate. Our prefrontal cortex obviously interacts with the hippocampus in a very perfect fluid manner. And the notion that the more you use your brain, the better it becomes, has been stuck with me since I stumbled into the study of human behavior, or psychology. But I’m starting to become skeptical of psychology, but obviously I’m not a scientist, so I’m probably very biased. But overall I do appreciate the approach that modern behavioristic/neuro-cognitive psychology brings.

Ultimately, I wish I actually wrote more often. This month has been pretty bad writing-wise. But it’s taught me how easy it is to get stuck with routines. Once any routine is rationalized as worthy in the brain, it’s hard to let the flow of words come out when the mind becomes rigid. And not to say, I wasn’t writing personal thoughts, but my inner critique got the best of me and my writing seemed more jumbled up than usual. But alas, I’m probably the only one who vaquely understands what I’m writing, as of right now. 

But to anybody who does read this, I appreciate your time. I have great respect for writers and storytellers. By any chance, if anyone does ever read this, please tell me the name of some books that have opened up your imagination. It can be either English, Japanese, or Bangla. 

Worth

Worth by precious metals

"Mukashi mukashi no monogatari” or back in the old days, the gift of choice would have been the metals that are the rarest to attain. Being able to communicate with distant foreign tribes meant exchanging gifts in order for peace. I’m probably simplifying this to a millionth degree since “history” is such a vast concept. But I just want to discuss how worth has changed over the course of history. What was once worthy, because it was hard to find, now can be found at an abundant pace. When scarcity disappears, worth also devolves. 

Worth by Money

Nowadays the rare metals such as gold, silver, ruby, emerald, etc are still very valuable but their worth is also derived with the concept of money. “Money” actually means, for my curiosity, in Bangla phonemes, "what does it mean?” As an aspiring linguist, just loving languages, I’ve noticed the role of communicating with our peers is signified by how we trade, so this means money is a foundational worth currency for trading purposes. 

I think being able to consciously count has led to the evolution of money. For tribes that don’t have a trading currency, the trading methods for food, cloths, and shelter are dependent by the social hierarchy of each person in the group, thus age plays a more significant role. But because in our 21st century society, money is so abundant, we have started to place an enormous worth in “money”. This has allowed for many to monopolize “money.”

Worth by community

I believe, again a simplification, worth is ultimately a product of our community. I recently lost my belief in money’s worth till I realized money is a method of enhancing your current belief systems. But worth ultimately is made by noise, in my opinion. For example, in this current election season, Trump and Clinton are both making a lot of noise. Thus they have a lot of influence and power. But because Clinton has a harder time advocating for herself in an emotional manner, currently Trump seems to have an edge as he is very very vocal about his opinions. Even if they are filled with conspiracy theories and whatnots, it does attract the obsequious people who have been primed by soothing words of comfort.

Worth in languages

“Fear doesn’t create worth, sound creates worth” (Raihan)

My realization that fear is a transitory state of being in fight or flight mode and being super aware of one’s surrounding when danger is present is what led me to my exploration of sound. Sound is what stays in our unconscious, this is also a simplification. What we frequently hear eventually becomes potent and arrives to our conscious mind at a rapid pace. Thoughts are very dependent on our belief and senses about people and the environment. Ultimately our trust in people and people trusting us, based on our communication with each other, is what leads to real worth. My analysis on this topic is at a very early stage, but I’m starting to see, listen, hear, and understand the potentiality of how conscious sound formation has brought us to our current reality.

Power of Belief

Intro

Today I want to discuss how our beliefs are essential for living. I used to question the nature of why people needed to believe in all powerful beings. There are tribes that exist that potentially don't believe in the supernatural like the Piraha Tribe. But I have come to realize the rationalization in believing. I believe that thoughts calm down and migrate to the unconscious when faith is present biologically in a person.

People generally start forming beliefs by looking through things through their eyes. So I was naturally curious in how our belief system evolved to entail so many bizarre unobservable phenomenons. It was very interesting to realize that beliefs are what keeps the conscious mind from going out of focus. I believe one needs to have trust in the laws of nature in order to maintain a homeostasis in the mind. The conscious mind is a curious little thing that meshes together all the monotony of life and then it gives us thoughts. 

Priming

We live in a world where information is growing in exponential abundance. But that also means we are being primed by more and more people everyday, whether that’s by social media, television, or by your local peers at your favorite restaurant. So "how does this relate to consciousness?" you say, I think it’s very very important to our rationalization of reality. Whether we like to believe it or not, I think words linger in our memory based on the recency effect. The association of words is a rather complex subject that potentially, from my perspective, has exponential theories. But I believe that words affect the consciousness in very realistic ways. The conscious mind is not our primary organ through which we evaluate the world. It is theoretically said that our frontal lobe develops at the age of 25. I believe, as recent research in neuroscience has proven, that the conscious mind can evolve even further. That means, because of plasticity, we can develop new neurons and ideas even as we become older. Age is a number that’s been created to evaluate time. The evaluation of time is a crucial element in understanding our reality. But that also limits our potentiality to people who fall into the paradigm shift of a concrete beginning and an ending.

Believing through Seeing

Naturally, seeing, at least I believe, is one of the most primary methods of evaluating the world. What we see can further include the integration of the functions of our senses. And when the senses combine together to create thoughts, we also see our perception of selective reality. It amused me to find out, when I read Mastery and Daniel Everett, the Piraha Tribe don’t have collective knowledge of the past. So they evaluate the world from their senses. They don’t record anything about life in literature, at least from my understanding. So their beliefs are formed by the perception of the space that they live in. They have the skills necessary to live but at the same time they don’t consciously complicate life to the extent that the rest of the industrialized nations have. I believe their consciousness is very complex for the tasks that they do, but I also think they probably have more systems for understanding sounds than us. At least that’s how it looks from the distance.

Believing through Religion

I believe religion has profound significance to the conscious mind. As a person that has been exposed to several religions, I see the value and community religion provides. It’s a form of seeing the world when nothing else can logically provide answers. Thus when something becomes impossible to logically solve, the only next solution is having faith in the process of life. When an individual goes too far into rationalizing without having a grounded faith, then reality starts to distort itself. I truly believe that people are meant to believe so the consciousness can focus on the more important things in life. When food and shelter are within our reach, the next step to a curious mind is belief. When belief is met in a logical sense, then the potential of the world becomes limitless.

Belief in Languages

This is something that’s been popping up in the back of my mind. So I’m going to start investigating similarities in languages in regards to the formation of belief. I think it has to deal with how traditionally languages have become mixed in our history. So I’m just curious if there are similarities. From my perspective, our unconscious, or our fight or flight mode depends on our ability to distinguish sound automatically. So association does play a role in our perception of reality. Thus what pops up in our mind during instant moments is crucial for our survival. I believe language also evolved in similar levels even in different languages.

Similarities in language:

Words: 

English:

To see, To understand, To believe, To give

Bangla:  

দেখা (deka), বুজা (buja), বিশ্বাস করা (bichash kora) , দাওয়া (dawa)

Japanese

見る (miru), 分かる (wakaru), 信じる (shinjiru), あげる (ageru), くれる(kureru)

Consciousness Minor Clarity

I’ve been pretty focused on understanding how the consciousness works for a pretty long time now. I suppose it’s been almost 7 years since I became interested in the nature of the development of the consciousness. My definition of consciousness is about trying to understand how the frontal lobe arrives at our conscious perception holistically. But I’ve come to realize the majority of the work that arrives in the consciousness is predetermined based on our mental state. Thus how we emotionally deal with the environment based on our perception is what arrives to our conscious mind. So far in my life, I’ve been defining the unconscious, everything that isn’t in our conscious thoughts, as this big hidden mechanism. Although, that’s true, our unconsciousness needs to be divided into greater depth, at least for my sake.

Thus instead of just talking about the conscious and the unconscious, I want to discuss how the conscious mind evaluates the complexity of the unconscious. Since we are meant to only really truly know around 150 people, based on Dunbar’s Number, I want to start discussing how our tribe influenced the evolution of our conscious mind. I think it’s only recently, through the internet, that human society as a whole have become so accustomed to abundant knowledge. Before this, people generally weren’t meant to be thinking consciously for a long time. I can kind of see how the people who have discovered the most about our reality are the people who were the most conscious. Thus people who can see reality with abundant clarity are the people who can be conscious for a very long period of time. These are the people that break way from the habits of regular life. This means the people who are consciously deciding their fate with conscious action are making the most impact within our reality.

It’s interesting to realize that the world is filled with never-ending patterns. I know this is very vague, but I think it’s interesting to realize that more fact based knowledge doesn’t necessarily equate to more influence. I think human beings have grown to deal with the unpredictability of the world. Thus instant reactions are more useful than conscious slow thinking. People who are clear about what they want to do have more influence. Which pretty much means the confident person rather that the contemplative person will have more influence. But this happens because, generally, the confident person has a greater belief system than the person who slowly responds from contemplation. However, I think, when the contemplative person truly believes in their ability, they can become confident and will thus have more influence.

At what point does contemplation evolve? That’s a question that I’m kind of working on. I suppose when one can be in the present moment without having to rationalize future scenarios is the moment that a person begins to have greater control. The ability of a curious mind that’s in the present moment will have the greatest influence. Being able to respond to another person without hesitation is a great trait in my opinion. I think this trait, when one is truly curious about another person, is what can have the greatest influence to our evolution of consciousness. When the “ego,” the part that Freud describes as the self-centered part of our brain, lets go of its control over the conscious mind, this is when the consciousness can evolve to another level.

I think all people are same to an extent. Which pretty much means that people generally have similar pathways in the brain. There’s a pathway that reacts with fight or flight, the part of our unconscious mind that is based on our heart’s awareness of our environment. The person who generalizes danger the fastest probably has the best chance of fighting or running away. The categorization of reality is super important to survival. If one can’t categorize, choosing will take too much conscious effort. However, conscious realization of our environment can help an individual understand more of our reality. And with that, I’ll conclude for today.

Gratitude

After two full years, I finally feel pretty content. This may be a very general statement, but I have only thought about my personal afflictions for the past two years. I forgot to be grateful for everything I had. I thought about the worst-case scenarios rather than all the opportunities that reality is filled with. In an earlier blog, I reasoned that taking a different perspective was a very difficult task because of the unconscious hierarchies that are ingrained in our brain since childhood. However, coming to a conclusion, I think gratitude and believing in the innocence of mankind is what will ultimately lead to a healthy life. 

The definition of healthy is something I would like to dive into. I always thought reason was the main tool for understanding reality. But that’s a very rigid perception of life. In my opinion, I believe there are way too many layers of thoughts that are sprinkled throughout the unconscious. And when certain thoughts will pop up in the consciousness is something only “god” knows. I have questioned the concept of a higher being for a long time. But I’m starting to believe that there is a force that comes through reality by just the concept of believing. And when I say “god”, in this sense, I’m talking about the complexity of how the frontal lobe integrates thoughts from all the other lobes.

A few years earlier, I realized that monkeys and some other mammals do have the concept of consciousness. Though their ability to abstractly think is very limited compared to humans. I started wondering, “how did language evolve?” Until recently, I wasn’t very sure about this. A lot of animals, like baboons and monkeys, have a social hierarchy that allows for many types of communication. Robert Sapolsky is an evolutionary behavior expert that studied baboons for over 20 years. His understanding of how animals behave in a social hierarchy is very illuminating. From his lecture on youtube, I’ve realized understanding the human consciousness could take longer than we currently imagine. Because the questions that are answered in Psychology always lead to thousands of more questions. The evolution of virtual reality is another concept that could change the logic of reality.

So back to the question of "what is healthy?” I believe it’s healthy to forget things. When the consciousness becomes super occupied with a task, the conscious tends to forget things that are not relevant. I would never want to remember everything, that’s why having faith, I think, is crucial for survival. Thinking too far into the future could hurt our current society. Thinking about trips to Mars is something that could illuminate what is possible to a whole new level. But thinking that far, I think, makes us very fallible. Living for the moment becomes a distant memory. When one thinks too far into the future, the enjoyment that the current moment can provide dissipates. 

Anyways, that’s why I’ve decided to stop questioning reality and start living it. In school, I learned the benefits of having a critical mind. What I didn’t learn was the concept of being grateful for this moment that I have. I kind of wish recess continued till the end of high school. That would have been great. After losing recess in 7th grade, reality started changing for me. But I digress, I’m grateful for having this outlet.